30

That’s it guys. God, has it really been 30 years already?! Today’s the beginning of my 31st and it still feels surreal to me. I will try to not put a lot of cliches here but maaan, let me just say… it has really been quiet a ride.

Here are some 30 should’ves, could’ves, hard-learned life lessons, big events, irrelevant stuff, good, not-so-good happenings that got stuck in my long-term memory, and whatnots, that made me… well, me. These aren’t listed in any specific order. Here we go.

1. It’s okay to feel.
2. I crave for deep meaningful conversations and people I can connect with on deeper levels.
3. Never burn bridges.
4. Feels really nice to be feminine.
5. Though I don’t show it often, I appreciate what my parents have done for me and my siblings.
6. Invest time in healing childhood scars. I remember that time when I was younger, I had a trauma in giving gifts. It happened at a school Christmas party. The gift I gave that my mum bought was way cheaper than what we were expected to bring. I still have recurring flashbacks of kids staring at me. That’s why I always value all gifts that I receive no matter how inexpensive. It’s really the thought that counts.
7. I should’ve been friendlier back in college. :D
8. Based on my own personal unfortunate financial events, I’m glad I took that first step a year ago. Slowly, I’ve started to wisely manage my finances and became a financial adviser myself.
9. Glad to know that there are people who understand my humor. :D
10. Also glad to know there are people who don’t ^ makes me think of better ways to be understood.
11. I’m not the center of the Universe. Ughh. :D
12. Banish the drama. Learning to redirect your energy to things that spark joy takes time to master, but I like to think that I’m getting there. One teeny tiny step at at time.
13. It’s okay to be post a lot on social media. It’s also okay to not be showy on social media. Whatever. You do you.
14. Do it scared, this is what my boss told me. It’s scary to start a business, but I took the first step and finally up my hobby and turned it into a fun biz. It’s totally nerve-wracking to speak your mind during meetings, call prospective clients about insurance. But you know what, it always seems impossible until it gets done.
15. Stop crying stinking fish and have a little more confidence.
16. Do you know that I used to have straight hair when I was younger?
17. A Cluttered physical space will indeed clutter your mind and spirit.
18. Saying sorry doesn’t make you less of a person. I still have to learn how to do it sparingly, though.
19. I have my own share of cringy life events in the past and decisions that I was not proud of. Buuut it’s fine, it’s not yet the end of the world. Treat each waking day as another chance to be better.
20. Having children isn’t in my plans anymore and it’s okay.
21. There is strength in being vulnerable.
22. People can’t read my thoughts.
23. It’s okay to say I don’t know.
24. I strive hard to be an inspiration to people around me but I realize that that idea is coming from a place of scarcity and just thinking about it stresses me out. So I learned that it’s more important to keep yourself as the first priority, and make yourself happy first. The rest will follow.
25. Think before you speak.
26. My actions teach people how to treat me.
27. Everyone is interesting. For me, I have no shallow friendships. They’re just relationships on pending and are queued on Needs Strengthening department.
28. I love Cardi B. :D
29. I learned to not let other people dictate directly or indirectly how I want to live. For someone who values other people’s approval, I’ve come to realize that it’s vital to strengthen my own value system and work from there, so as not to be easily swayed.
30. Assume good faith in people.

I’m not sure how to end this blog. :D